The "Old Person" blogs, part the deuce

Original title: Grown-up/Not a grown-up
Original date of publication: September 18, 2007

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*You have conversations with other grown-ups about IRAs and 401-Ks.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*You are secretly pleased when you've made better investment choices than they have, and they have 20 years on you.

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*You and your roommate buy a whiteboard to keep on the fridge in order to exchange vital information such as groceries you need and where you can be reached if there's an emergency.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*It immediately becomes home to vital information such as movie quotes and how good kettle chips are. It also serves as "the leaderboard;" a list of who is "on notice" and/or "dead to me."

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*You pay NiMo and your landlord on time every month, along with your insurance, credit card bills and student loans.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*With the rest of your hard-earned money, you plan to purchase a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man.

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*When your shift ends, if your work isn't done, you stay to finish it instead of bolting out the door and hoping you're faster than your boss.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*You gloat almost audibly when you see even ten bucks of overtime on your check.

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*You're a stickler for spelling and accuracy.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*When people spell poorly or make silly mistakes, you threaten to "kick their ass for an hour."

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*A good night's sleep becomes more important to you than a fun night out.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*Wine is still more important than...well, a lot of stuff.

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*Yankee Candles fall into the "luxury" category.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*You still keep buying 'em.

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*You have intelligent and well-reasoned political opinions.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*You're not above calling the opposing candidate a "dumbass."

How you can tell you're a grown-up:
*You think kids today are not as smart as you were at their age, and are complete wusses.
How you can tell you're not a grown-up:
*You announce frequently that kids today are not as smart as you were at their age, and are complete wusses.